Dating black men are better
The first thing I indicated on my list was that I wanted to marry a man who wanted to be married.
That might seem redundant but actually desiring marriage isn’t something we discuss too often.
I was expecting the men I was dating to mimic a culture and generation that they had no real relation to.
And when they couldn’t measure up to my unrealistic expectations, I blamed them for their shortcomings.
Surely, I could mold a potential mate into the guy I wanted, right?
We could get into couple’s therapy and the whole nine.
That says less about American men and more about my dating preferences than anything else. My nationality, however, is a whole different story but this wasn’t always the case.
And in being realistic about my partner expectations, I had to acknowledge that my dating pool needed a major revamp.
I had exclusively dated Black men up to that point, finding commonality in the fact that we were both Black and both American-born, but my perception of marriage and relationships had undoubtedly been shaped by my West African father and my American Baby-Boomer Uncles.
Yet the vision I had for myself didn’t seem to be coming together.
No matter how different the guy appeared on the surface, the results were consistently too similar for it to be a matter of happenstance.