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When it comes down to it, weighing the importance of someone’s debt is completely an individual judgment call.When factored in next to how they make you laugh, how good they are at listening, their loyalty, their adventurousness, their compassion, or whatever else you love about them that has nothing to do with their bottom line, someone’s financial profile might be an imperfection that is more than worth it in the face of all the good they otherwise bring to your life.Once adulthood has fully come along and settled in, it’s no longer a fuzzy monolith in the future, and finding a partner to share your life with is no longer a fairy tale you’ve yet to live.It’s suddenly a real thing, and you can more clearly see the tangible impact another person can have on your life.The reality of being in love — if we’re talking about a “I want to share my life with this person” kind of love, as opposed to a “we are both in Aruba, and I’m never going to see him again in two weeks when I go home” kind of love — is that you are not effectively just evaluating someone’s ability to give you what you need emotionally and physically, but their potential for being a strong partner in terms of creating the life you want.Rochelle, 32, found herself suddenly considering the weight of all of these issues when her girlfriend of two years revealed she had been hiding debt for the duration of their relationship.It’s one thing for someone to make you laugh, but when you’re talking about hooking your life to someone else’s, it only stands to reason that you want to be sure they aren’t going to tank your whole situation.

No judgment, but that’s just not the person for me.” And it makes sense.Melissa wants to be clear: The whole idea of thinking about someone’s debt when you’re dating never really occurred to her for most of her life.For instance, the first few times Melissa went out with John (not his real name, for reasons that will become obvious shortly), she felt optimistic.A recent study laid out just how seriously most people factor in money matters when it comes to deciding whether or not someone is a viable romantic prospect, citing that 72% of people surveyed said they would have serious doubts about dating someone with significant debt.The notion of being cutthroat about a potential partner’s financial profile, while objectively logical, might be exactly why it feels so… The way most of us grow up imagining love — the process of falling into it and then the state of existing within it — leaves us with the idea of love as something that is mostly devoid of logic.

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