Weve been dating for three months

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"I have found that in couples where one [person] is waiting and waiting for the other to bring up 'the talk,' it is likely never going to happen," adds Lori Salkin, dating coach and senior matchmaker at Saw You At "If you get to a reasonable point in time in a relationship (not three dates in) where you feel you are ready [to be] committed and ready to define the relationship and ...

your boyfriend or girlfriend is not acting on the hints ...

And I'd say after three months you should have that feeling and know if it's what you both want or not.

I've jumped into relationships with a couple of guys and got hurt every time, so with my current boyfriend, I made sure we took our time and went in stages.

"There isn't a certain number of time or dates or milestones.

It's when your partner is showing up the way you need them to to feel safe."With that in mind, here's how six women knew it was time to define their own relationships — some after just a few short dates, others months in.

But then — maybe eight or nine or a million dates in — the question of, "Wait, what are we? Inevitably, you start to wonder whether it's time to call off that cat-and-mouse game or maintain a chill façade — I mean, how long should you wait to define the relationship?

It's a question I've asked myself on a number of occasions, first as a dazed and confused teenager, and then as an even-more-confused adult (or whatever it is that I am).

I was so excited by the thought of doing everything with him, and a label was important to me because it felt like we were now this unit rocket-shipping forward. We both knew from date one that we had no interest in anyone else, and as a jealous animal I made sure that we talked about that aspect very early on so we avoided the 'let’s date but not be exclusive and pretend we are chill about that but actually have enormous reactions if the other person sleeps with anyone else and read their texts while they sleep' phase.

It lies in recognizing that a potential partner really can (and will) give you what you need."The number one thing I wish people would do is really listen to what's happening and what [their partner] is saying, not hearing what they want to hear," says Richardson.

"A lot of times, we hear what we want to hear and we see what we want to see, and that's when we get hurt." Way easier said than done, right?

Dating today is filled with question marks, unspoken rules, and just a general sense of mystery.

We're all tasked with balancing definitive interest with that hard-to-get chase, ensuring that our love interests know we're into them, but not, like, into them.

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